"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"Memory tempers prosperity, mitigates adversity, control youth, and delights old age."

"The Art of Love: knowing how to combine the temperment of a vampire with the discretion of an anemone."

"War is just to those to whom war is necessary."

"The best [man] is like water.Water is good; it benefits all things and does not compete with them.It dwells in [lowly] places that all disdain.This is why it is so near to Tao."

"God help those who do not help themselves."

"Nothing is said that has not been said before."