"She's the original good time that was had by all."

"With the newspaper strike on, I wouldn't consider dying."

"It has been my experience that one cannot, in any shape or form, depend on human relations for lasting reward. It is only work that truly satisfies."

"This became a credo of mine...attempt the impossible in order to improve your work."

"From the age of six, I have known that I was sexy. And let me tell you it has been hell, sheer hell, waiting to do something about it."

"The out-of-work actor wears out more than shoe leather. The very sensibilities that make him an artist are shattered by the disregard he is shown as a human being."

"Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You would never see a bad show."

"Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end."

"Not being able to govern events, I govern myself."

"This is on me."

"A chinese philosopher once had a dream that he was a butterfly. From that day on, he was never quite certain that he was not a butterfly, dreaming that he was a man."

"ELECTOR, n. One who enjoys the sacred privilege of voting for the man of another man's choice."